Monday, August 22, 2011

I very well may be the worst single serving friend ever

I'm not sure if this happens to everyone, so maybe I'm not a beautiful and unique snowflake. I feel like every flight I take, there is at least one leg of it where the person sitting next to me is desperate for my conversation. That might be a bit harsh, calling them desperate. Regardless, it happens. Like right now. The man sitting next to me has made a couple comments here and there in what I assume is an intent to incite some thrilling conversation. My response? Probably one or two words. In my defense, it's really early and I have not had nearly enough tea. Also, it's weird to drink diet coke this early in the morning, but air travel is so anti-iced tea that I have to resort to this right now. Maybe there's a Starbucks between the gate and the AirTrain.

Ah, the comment about how quickly I type. And how many notes I have on my phone. And the quick assurance of "not that I've been looking" on top of it all. All I said was that I take a lot of notes. I could have elaborated and said it's for a blog or something. Maybe I should have made up something really awesome. But again, it's far too early for that kind of creativity.

I wonder if tired blogging is like drunk blogging. I mean, they say that about tired driving. You know, that it's bad or something. And this analogy is kind of perfect. So how is tired blogging like drunk blogging? Well, I'm rambling on about nothing important, which isn't much different from every other post, but it seems a bit more excessive. Also, I have no desire to spell check and/or edit, and not just because I'm writing this on my phone. Really, I was just too lazy to get my computer out of the overhead compartment.

Why's everything up there and not under the seat in front of me? Because I'm in the first row! Not first class or anything because this plane doesn't believe in classes. We're all equals! I mean, check out how much legroom I have!

Look how comfortably stretched out they are! And my toes aren't even hitting the wall. Here's a photo of that.

Leg almost totally straight. It's kind of gluttonous. Also, this post just got better because it's on the phone and therefore easier for me to decide to just take a photo to include.

So the guy might have noticed my hilarious photo taking. What if I mention that it's for a blog post and he's all, "I'd love to read your blog!" then maybe I should edit this. Or just insert a comment about how he is a very pleasant co-passenger.

Pilot piss time!

This flight attendant is all "No Trespassing!" and one got to go into the cockpit! Perks of the front row? Maybe.

What if I told them that they couldn't take away my cup and soda can because they're not going to recycle it? Why don't they recycle?! Maybe they sort the trash or something. Maybe I should look into it. Now I'm curious and can't look it up because we're mid-flight! Maybe this will remind me. And this whole wanting airlines to recycle is totally something that would go into my "OBEY MY BLOG!" blog. I think I have a problem. With blogging.

Just scrolled up to see how much I wrote. My apologies, dear friends, if you read all the way through this. Putting my phone down. This is out of control. Until next time...

Added as I was posting: As we were approaching landing, guy next to me asks why all of the notes, like if they were for emails or just notes to myself. I was honest and said it was for my blog, which I update when I should be working. He approved and asked what I did, and was impressed by my love of climate and such. He's a professor of education. I'm not completely antisocial. I just needed some time to wake up.


  1. There's some definite similarities between tired posting and drunk posting, stream of consciousness for example. Need to ask Bobe if there's a noticeable stream of consciousness when programming while drunk. For science!

  2. I don't understand what makes people think that just because we happen to be near each other, that makes us friends. Maybe it's my New England sensibilities but we're strangers. I don't know about you, but I was taught not to speak to strangers. Now if you want to do some of the "oh how are you?" "nice weather we're having" etc, that's fine, though personally I find it trite. But perfectly acceptable for polite society. Know what isn't polite society? Asking details about personal notes being made on a personal electronic device. How is that possibly ok to ask about? Ugh. More people should define rude like I do so they stop thinking I'm the rude one.

  3. I'm a fantastic single serving friend because then they never have time to piss me off! For instance, among my 6 flights to/from Cali, I made friends with: a make-up artist on her way to Prague for a two-week shoot who gave me half her bagel, a senile old man who travels around visiting his great grandchildren and fishing in Alaska, an anti-social lady from New Zealand who was very offended if you said her accent was Australian, a nice couple who was super excited about my flying to Cali to meet a boy and who did crossword puzzles with me (it was a draw because we all gave up), then a lady and a guy impressed at my learning Arabic and why, a guy who thought I should move to L.A., and a recent graphic design grad from PA looking for houses in Tampa to move to.

    And I remember all that. And never heard from any of them again.