Wednesday, August 31, 2011

If anyone asks, I'm totally packing up my things

This post will be short because I should be packing. I should also be getting ready for work.

My life has been really nonstop lately in the epic quest to find an apartment. Short version is that I found a place and am moving first thing tomorrow morning. Should be an epic adventure and I'm very excited. On top of all of that, I get to work a fuckton. So yay for being busy and having things to do.

Oh, and I'll probably do a sappy post to my lovely roommate and friend, Kira.

Here's a random photo of some of my stuff in bags and such. Notice the laundry hamper full to the brim. Can't wait to do laundry. Mostly because it needs to be done. Also notice how the bookcase is still full of books.

I'm thinking sleep will happen never. Or on Saturday night. Or something. Maybe. No promises.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I know I said I wouldn't blog...

We're watching another bad movie than before. An even worse movie than before. Many drinks have been consumed. Today is a good day. Endlessly quotable but I can't type well enough or fast enough to bring it to fruition. Also, I'm using too many big words for this.

Making a drink. The one from last night. Bacardi bottle, you will be empty in less than five minutes!

Okay. This is terrible. Done blogging. Ass grab!

So remember that time I was ranting about a stupid rom-com...

You know, this one? Well, it's on again. And I'm taking this opportunity to finish it, this time with more beer! Or rather, with a beer. It's like I'm playing a drinking game with myself. I think I'm losing. My beer is already gone, and I'm too lazy to get up another.

Now, everyone knows that I am so far from the romantic-comedy-watching girl. Like, beyond far from it. Yet, I was disappointed that FX isn't having a marathon of them. They're switching to action movies all day. Wait! Is there football on?! Even if there was, I probably couldn't convince the roommates to join me. Instead, maybe we'll hit up Netflix, pick out some terrible flicks, and build a puzzle. And drink. This is how you do the post-hurricane dance. Especially when you don't personally see the effects of it and are left with power, no flooding, and all that jazz. We can't go anywhere though (still no mass transit or word on when it will reactivate), so we will make the best of it!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

As if four posts today weren't enough, let's make it an even hand

That's totally a phrase I just made up and I don't know how well it works. Going with it anyway.

The only point of this post is to talk about the drink I created.
- Six ice cubes (you know, like the giant cube ones from a crack-it-yourself ice tray)
- 1 part Bacardi (because we still haven't gotten rid of it from previous parties)
- 2 parts coconut rum (or more - that shit is weak and delicious so add it accordingly)
- A quarter of a lime squeezed so delicately in (this step could also be called "check to see if you have any teeny tiny lacerations on any of your fingers)
- Fill glass to about two inches below the top with raspberry flavored seltzer (use a pint glass, I did)
- Add a couple splashes of cranberry juice and bam! You're done!

It's truly delicious and not too sweet. Now pop in a movie and get your drink on!

Because sometimes your friends want to get drunk and rant about a movie for you

Avid blog follower but not (currently) blog producer, Anticipated Serenity , has graciously offered to compose a guest blog. I have told her before she could do this whenever and as the theme of today is apparently watching movies (I'm watching Tangled as a followup to an episode of MST3K) and drinking while awaiting the arrival of Hurricane Irene, it seemed like the right time. Cheers!

So here we are, my friends and I, bunkered down from East-Coast-Hurricanemageddon-2011, watching movies and boozing and waiting for it all to end. We’ve watched a few and then settled on Reality Bites as none of us had seen it (I know, cardinal sin of my generation apparently). And as will probably be seen as a more cardinal sin amongst my generation, I was not a fan, which pains me as I love Janeane Garafalo (who was excellent in this movie). Here’s why:

***Spoiler Alert – to those who somehow missed watching this movie like me, I will be giving away the plot and the end. You have been warned***

While this may have been groundbreaking at the time, in 2011 this is seems like a trite representation of what the “90s” mean. Some of it is to be expected. Obviously the fashion – it was made in the 90s so clearly their fashion would be unbelievably such. But also the whole message of “we’re young and we’re anti-establishment at all costs” and “nobody understands my feelings like I do” and “we are all alone on this island that is life” etc…that got tiring quickly. Am I being too harsh on these messages? Maybe. Again, at the time this may have been groundbreaking. Hell, maybe it is because of this movie, or at least in part, that these elements are now stereotypical of the 90s.

Luckily, I have better reasons for disliking this movie. The movie poses itself to be an expose of sorts about life for the young college graduates of the 90s. Almost like the older sibling of The Breakfast Club. However, unlike The Breakfast Club that actually delved into issues facing the youth they were representing and focused on more than romance, Reality Bites skimmed the surface of very pressing and important issues (AIDS, homosexuality acceptance, the job market, student loans, etc.) and instead focused on the oh-so-important love triangle between Ryder, Hawke and Stiller. The love triangle, which attempts to be really edgy adding in sex, speeches featuring a lot of SAT words and a lot of pseudo-philosophical crap when in reality (ß see what I did there? Reality check about Reality Bites? I’m so clever. Like this movie. #sarcasm) it is the classic love triangle. Girl falls for Boy 1, Boy 1 dismisses her. Girl settles for Boy 2, which makes Boy 1 jealous. Boy 1 and Boy 2 now fight over Girl and ultimately force her to choose. 9 out of 10 times Girl chooses wrong Boy. This movie is no exception. If anything it’s more insulting than one may find the traditional romcom because it pretends to be enlightened and above such trivial things when really it’s the same old story.

Hawke plays the token disenfranchised youth who can’t be bothered to actually take responsibility for his behavior and believes, probably based on a Philosophy 101 class he took while stoned, that society owes him. Why society owes him, no one knows, but it is clear society has wronged this man and must excuse all his behavior. He goes so far as to use this to justify his theft of a snickers bar and excuse his own responsibility from why he was fired (which was theft…because of the snickers bar). Ryder is valedictorian of her class who is going to conquer the world. Until she gets fired from her internship because she thinks her boss is a prick. This is, of course, her boss’s fault for not “getting” her. She then refuses to look for employment deemed “beneath” her, as again she was valedictorian. This seems to spit in the face of the enlightenment vibe they’re going for with this movie; however it is pretty accurate of the recent college description. Then enter Stiller, who is supposed to be the yuppie. I think the directors don’t actually know what a yuppie is. Stiller is clearly a young kid who got in on the ground floor of business and is trying to make it work out. He makes mistakes and is the only one in the movie to admit he makes mistakes. That doesn’t make him a yuppie, that makes him a responsible adult.

Ryder and Stiller go out on a few dates, sex a bit, and then he has to ya know…go do his job. This is also a responsible adult thing to do that is mistaken as a negative. His big mistake is when in an attempt to help Ryder, he insults her creative genius (did I mention she’s an amateur film maker/video journalist. Yea…). He dares to take her movie about her friends (nothing trite there) and edits it so that it’s actually marketable. To reiterate – for a girl that he dates a couple of times, he takes her movie, pitches it to his contacts (which he can’t possibly have a lot given his age), actually gets her a deal, and when it doesn’t work out to Ryder’s specifications, she just walks out. Because clearly this is Stiller’s fault for not “getting” her.

Hawke and Ryder’s relationship is a horse of a different color. Best of friends who seem to do nothing but fight, one can cut the sexual tension with a knife. Or so the movie would like you to think. In actually almost every encounter is of Hawke being a jerk, Ryder calling him out on being jerk, and one of the two storming out of the room in utter frustration. One of these great scenes is where Hawke deliberately manipulates Ryder’s feelings, professes his love for her, and then claims it all to be a joke literally laughing in her face. Oh, he’s a regular Prince Charming. There is one scene where they seem to be getting along, then he tries to make out with her KNOWING she’s seeing Stiller, and he has the audacity to be upset that she won’t make out with him. He runs away like a child, not even coming back to his apartment for days. Finally he does, and after the horrible mistake Stiller made (see above paragraph), Ryder and Hawke sleep together in what is really, really awkward “passion” and profession of love. The next morning, Hawke runs out on her. This is my surprised face  -.- ßNote not actually surprised.

And then – for the climax! – Hawke sings a beautiful song at a venue that is, I shit you not, called “The Joint” and Ryder feels so moved that she’s all conflict-y about her anger towards him for running out on her. Just then Stiller runs in, apologizes for not getting Ryder, and attempts to fix it for her by presenting her with plane tickets he bought to New York so they could pitch to the TV/movie execs together so Ryder can have creative control. Wow an apology AND a logical solution?! What a…jerk? Ryder in a conflict, pulls Hawke aside and confronts him about leaving. He then pulls the “I’m a wild stallion, you can’t control me, and that scares you. But you’re the only woman I can ever love.” To Ryder’s credit she yells at him, but ALSO dismisses Stiller so she can go home and brood over what a jerk Hawke is. At the end of the day she’s left with 2 choices: 1) dark, broody, borderline violent and drug addicted, emotionally unavailable jerkwad who constantly leaves you or 2) the “yuppie” who actually has a work ethic, respects you, admits to his mistakes, and provides actual solutions to your problems. No brainer right ladies? Hello Jerkwad!

So really? REALLY?! After all this, she chooses the moron? She chooses the guy who says shit like “we all die alone eventually” and “my dad gave me a shell and said all of life answers are in this shell. That’s when I realized life is meaningless.” This dude was emo before emo was cool (oh wait, it was never cool. This dude was emo before emo was a thing). Oh and did I mention when the two boys faux fight over her? Epic quotes like “you can’t give her what she needs” “I know what she needs more than you do” – oh what an enlightened movie. Know who knows what she needs? The lady. Maybe ask her opinion? Just saying.

So at the end of the day this movie fails at being edgy as it was nothing but cliché. This movie fails at being progressive/enlightened as it was anything but. And this movie fails at being an actual romcom as there is no real happy ending, there is no character development, there is no actual romance, and other than Garafalo and Zahn (Steve Zahn is in this, also a great job by him. Go supporting actors go!), there is almost no comedy. So it basically fails at everything.

Why is this the movie of my generation?

Preparation: water edition

So here's a collection of photos (and a little snipet of information to go along with them) to share our strategy for having plenty of water on hand. First up, a quick tour of our fridge, starting with one of the more important things: caffeine. Kira has already prepared her coffee for tomorrow.
I have begun making tea, but have yet to finish the process or decide how I'm going to store it.

We also washed our fruit and placed it so gingerly in this fruit bowl.
Ah, fruit. Preventing scurvy and being something healthy to eat.

Now, water storage. Drinking water...

Teeth brushing/face washing water...

And toilet flushing water (because we don't have a tub)...

Though it doesn't look like we'll lose power, better to be prepared. Now time to enjoy this drink, these brownies, and a bit of MST3K.

Update: Forgot to include the water preparation for the kitties!

Sensory overload of emergency related things!

I was going to write a post about our water preparation (because there are hilarious photos to go with it). As I was sitting down to resume Weather Channel watching and internet reading, there was a cavalcade of sirens. To the trained ear such as my own, I knew it was fire trucks. Plural. Multiple. We (roommate and I) rushed to the window to find way more trucks than we ever expected to find! Step one: grab phone to take an unnecessary amount of photos. Step two: Stand on the fire escape and take said photos.

So check out all of these fire trucks!
There are three ladder trucks, two of which have their ladders extended up to the roofs. There are also three engines hanging out and providing man power for the possible firefighting. Not pictured in that photo is this fourth engine that showed up and the gentlemen it provided.

At some point they were just standing around, so I took that moment to admire the clouds.
Yay clouds!

And if this isn't exciting enough for you, just you wait!

They started cleaning up. Repacked the hose, lowered the ladders, took off the bunker gear, etc. Issues begin to arise as the hose is disconnected from the hydrant.
Water every-fucking-where!

There were many attempts to close the hydrant. At one point, there were three guys using tools and their brute man force to no avail. Then sledgehammer guy steps in and bams the hydrant near the base. The water stops! Fist bumps all around!

So success. We hung out for a bit more to watch the rest of the clean up. Then the water came back! This time through the manhole cover.
And the drain. And the seams in the road. Yeah, that's right. The seams!

It only smelled vaguely sewery, not nearly as bad as it looks. Most people drove around it, but as more and more drove over it, the seam-based leak got worse. Eventually, some of the firefighters made a makeshift barrier involving a crate, a garbage can, and a road blocker thing (I bet it has a name, but I don't know it nor do I care to look it up).

Eventually a crew showed up to fix it all. Or started too. They weren't as interesting so I gave up and came back inside to resume drinking and consuming foods.

Update: A for real crew showed up to fix it! There's like jackhammering and all sorts of other activity (or maybe just that) going on right now! I mean, look at all those cones!

I should probably be blogging this

Actually, I should probably be doing work. And packing. This is more fun, so I'll go with this!

I have been constantly apologizing to everyone around me because of my constant giddiness and excitement over the impending arrival of Hurricane Irene. A disclaimer is thrown out immediately with any mention of the storm. It's usually a phrase like "I'm a meteorologist so don't judge me" or something so that people know I'm a scientist, not an asshole. I'm so curious to see what will happen in New York City during a hurricane or even a tropical storm.

The one-two punch of being a Floridian and a meteorologist makes me the go-to person for all hurricane related inquiries. My shift at work yesterday was spent constantly talking to both tables and coworkers about the storm. What did I learn from these conversations? Mostly that people up here don't readily know the words "storm surge" or "rain bands". Floridians tend to learn about this over and over again with each impending tropical season, but up here, it's never a concern. People would ask me about the risks associated with the storm and what they should do to prepare. They don't know how to prepare up here! I spouted off all of the necessary supplies that should be acquire and precautions that should be taken without a second of hesitation. Their wonderment matched my own as I could hardly believe they didn't just know from childhood. Then I have to remind myself that when the snow starts falling, I'm a bit clueless about that (though, less so than the average Floridian given my meteorological training).

It has been a while since I have been able to bring out all of my random hurricane fun facts. Maybe I shouldn't use "fun" there. Eh, I'll go with it. People seem to be impressed, but I always emphasize that I grew up learning about tropical systems for practical reasons and that they're one of the reasons why I went into meteorology in the first place. Hurricanes are also how I got into studying climate. I wrote a paper looking at hurricane frequency and landfall return times in a historical climatology context. I won't go into any more detail than that.

Really, I could gush about this all day. My poor roommates have to put up with me. Well, I guess it's a trade off for being super prepared and me knowing all of the preparations. We all scouted out acquiring snacks. We put them all into our designated snack box.
This photo also includes the puzzle I got for us to do if/when the power goes out. Also, the mixers to go with the insane amount of alcohol we have in this apartment that should be consumed prior to the move.

As expected, my parents are concerned, but not nearly as concerned as the parents of many of my friends who did not grow up in the tropics. She approved of my hurricane prep and my declaration that the party would be at our house. She wants constant updates on what is going on. In response to her most recent questioning, I sent her this photo of my current activity.
She responded as classy as ever with similar sentiments and an update on her weather (it's 91 degrees there, in case you were wondering).

I should go do more prep (aka I need a shower). I'll probably post more later. Because this is so exciting!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Too funny and random not to share

Last night was one of those nights where we decide to go to Times Square to have a couple of beers, which inevitably turns into more than a couple by a bunch. It totally helped that the last round was on the house because the bartender liked that we were actually drinking more than just one beer a la girls next to us that order a single round of drinks and cashed out. They didn't even consider a second drink as an option! Regardless, good times were had by us and we probably enjoyed ourselves far more than anyone else in that place. Well, except maybe the bartender who was thoroughly entertained by our banter and antics.

But like all good nights, they must come to an end. And since it was well beyond our original time of intended departure (by like, about an hour or so), we decided to head home. The best part of going to drink in a bar in Times Square is when you leave, you get to walk through Times Square! And it's usually late so all of the tourists are asleep in their hotels, worn out from the nonstop excitement that is this wonderful city. Oh! Wait! Quick side story about tourists!

So, on my way to the bar, I had to fight my way through the crowds of Times Square. People everywhere walking ever-so-slowly is the typical site to be seen. I, being the obnoxious New Yorker that sometimes pretend to be, weaved through them at such a rapid pace that they would never even notice I was beside them, probably because they were too busy taking photos. And here was my great achievement: as I was walking, I probably ruined like ten or so pictures. Maybe more. I didn't have time to wait for them to photograph some technicolor motorcycle (that for some reason was so fascinating to so many of the people), so I just walked passed them. In the days before digital cameras, someone would have me forever captured in that set of vacation photos. Alas, we live in a far more tech-savvy time, and I will probably be erased from about half of them (this is assuming that the other half are too lazy or don't know how to erase a photo). End side story!

There we are, wandering through Times Square to make our way to the train. Suddenly, a young Asian gentleman with a microphone and a camerman in tow stops us to ask about our thoughts on Steve Jobs resigning from Apple. My friend engages in conversation with them, answering the questions of the inquiring microphone-holding guy. I was too busy laughing at how ridiculous the situation was to find out how legit of an interviewing entity they were, but was focused enough to capture a photo of the process.

While their interview was going on, I turned to our other friend, who was also giggling too hard to be interviewed, if they were serious about the Steve Jobs thing. I tend to be really up to date on things like that, especially involving Apple products. I mean, the interviewer asked my friend what Apple products he owned. This might have been the exact moment when I was taking his photo with my iPhone (I have truly excellent timing sometimes). Lucky for me, the news was confirmed by the news ticker that displays headlines in Times Square. My cat-like reflexes even allowed me the opportunity to capture proof:

Thanks, Times Square! You always make for a great story!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Because I really need another series in which to lose myself

And now for another post that is similar to the one that started this whole adventure! I am one glass of wine and about twenty in to episode one of Doctor Who. So far, so good. It has that great British wit to go along with the delightful accents delivering the brilliance. The only issue I have thus far is that I am hungry and could really go for something to eat. Thinking Chinese food. Maybe that'll be something to accomplish between episodes one and two, since I have already resigned myself to watching at least the second episode tonight.

I'm not entirely sure if we are supposed to be amused by the plastic man with the paddle arms destroying the restaurant, but it has tickled both Erik and I to chuckle. Also, that plastic guy...OMG ROSE! GET IN THE TARDIS! HE'S TRYING TO HELP YOU! Anyway, the plastic guy has obviously never seen The Real Housewives of New Jersey (definitely not the final episode of season one), because he totally would have flipped that table instead of just smashing it.

I wonder if there is a way to watch the first series of this show. Like, the 1963 one. Just to see the difference in the doctors and the special effects and what not.

"I see a lot of T2 in here." - Erik's commentary. In his defense, the set for scene does look very similar, but instead of metal, it's plastic. And just had one of those moments that proves I'm not nerdy enough for nerds because I just said "metal" instead of whatever it actually is. Because I don't know. Looked it up on Wikipedia. It was steel. Plain steel. Now that's an extra fun fact to go in my bank of fun facts.

If that's what mannequins look like in England, I'm never going shopping there! Way too fucking creepy. Even though they're moving around, they look even more dead inside than most mannequins.

Also, the TARDIS makes a noise very similar to these enemies in the original Legend of Zelda for NES. I'm going to need someone else to verify this for me. Erik is not as well versed in NES games as I thought he was.

So to sum up. I think I'll have a pint of chicken with broccoli, definitely another glass of wine, and most definitely another episode. Cheers!

Update: Episode two equally good. Alright, Doctor, I'm in! And proof about my intermission goal objective being achieved:

They're at it again!

So, remember the Alice in Wonderland cookies from yesterday ? Well, this morning, they got between me and my life force

My roommate is testing two things: 1) my ability to resist cookies that are very politely commanding that they be consume (I say "politely" because there's a smiley face) and 2) my desire to uphold my statement yesterday about eating more of them in the name of science. So I guess today, they will be eaten in the name of breakfast.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Way too trusting of food messages

I came home to find treasure on the counter!

Most people would just assume that their roommate had left them cookies. Some people might worry about turning into a giant or shrinking down to thimble size. I mean, Alice trusted the "Eat me" signs, and I guess it worked out okay.

One cookie consumed. Pretty sure I'm the same size. A proper scientific test would suggest I need to eat a least a couple more. So I will. For science!

I very well may be the worst single serving friend ever

I'm not sure if this happens to everyone, so maybe I'm not a beautiful and unique snowflake. I feel like every flight I take, there is at least one leg of it where the person sitting next to me is desperate for my conversation. That might be a bit harsh, calling them desperate. Regardless, it happens. Like right now. The man sitting next to me has made a couple comments here and there in what I assume is an intent to incite some thrilling conversation. My response? Probably one or two words. In my defense, it's really early and I have not had nearly enough tea. Also, it's weird to drink diet coke this early in the morning, but air travel is so anti-iced tea that I have to resort to this right now. Maybe there's a Starbucks between the gate and the AirTrain.

Ah, the comment about how quickly I type. And how many notes I have on my phone. And the quick assurance of "not that I've been looking" on top of it all. All I said was that I take a lot of notes. I could have elaborated and said it's for a blog or something. Maybe I should have made up something really awesome. But again, it's far too early for that kind of creativity.

I wonder if tired blogging is like drunk blogging. I mean, they say that about tired driving. You know, that it's bad or something. And this analogy is kind of perfect. So how is tired blogging like drunk blogging? Well, I'm rambling on about nothing important, which isn't much different from every other post, but it seems a bit more excessive. Also, I have no desire to spell check and/or edit, and not just because I'm writing this on my phone. Really, I was just too lazy to get my computer out of the overhead compartment.

Why's everything up there and not under the seat in front of me? Because I'm in the first row! Not first class or anything because this plane doesn't believe in classes. We're all equals! I mean, check out how much legroom I have!

Look how comfortably stretched out they are! And my toes aren't even hitting the wall. Here's a photo of that.

Leg almost totally straight. It's kind of gluttonous. Also, this post just got better because it's on the phone and therefore easier for me to decide to just take a photo to include.

So the guy might have noticed my hilarious photo taking. What if I mention that it's for a blog post and he's all, "I'd love to read your blog!" then maybe I should edit this. Or just insert a comment about how he is a very pleasant co-passenger.

Pilot piss time!

This flight attendant is all "No Trespassing!" and one got to go into the cockpit! Perks of the front row? Maybe.

What if I told them that they couldn't take away my cup and soda can because they're not going to recycle it? Why don't they recycle?! Maybe they sort the trash or something. Maybe I should look into it. Now I'm curious and can't look it up because we're mid-flight! Maybe this will remind me. And this whole wanting airlines to recycle is totally something that would go into my "OBEY MY BLOG!" blog. I think I have a problem. With blogging.

Just scrolled up to see how much I wrote. My apologies, dear friends, if you read all the way through this. Putting my phone down. This is out of control. Until next time...

Added as I was posting: As we were approaching landing, guy next to me asks why all of the notes, like if they were for emails or just notes to myself. I was honest and said it was for my blog, which I update when I should be working. He approved and asked what I did, and was impressed by my love of climate and such. He's a professor of education. I'm not completely antisocial. I just needed some time to wake up.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Nerds and their (our?) love of zombies - evidence that I can write far too much about the reanimated dead

In the past couple of days the topic of zombies, mostly in the form of zombie movies, has come up frequently. First, it was on a podcast. This led to my brother and I have an extensive conversation about zombies and our strategies in the zombie apocalypse. Then I found the most perfect business cards ever! It was around this moment where I started to wonder why nerds love zombies so much. Does my affinity for them make me a nerd? Is that my contribution to the nerd society? Because honestly, I don't think I have enough nerd-cred to be legitimate. The closest thing I have is maybe movies, with a great love of the horror genre in all of its greatness and terribleness.

The podcast zombie reference involves a debate about the differences between zombie films, highlighting a common discussion about zombie speed and what makes a true zombie. The podcast participants were arguing whether 28 Days Later is actually a zombie film. One person argued it was; the other claimed that it was an outbreak film and as such was not necessarily a zombie movie. The points were well argued and the ending sentiment was to agree to disagree (and I think they both settled on it being a great film regardless). I mention this to my brother, who is like minded in his appreciation of the zombie genre and a willing participant in discussions about a zombie apocalypse. And this is where the true nerd aspect of it all comes in and is maybe why I think nerds in general are zombie enthusiasts. We (yes, I have accepted to just rope myself in with them) are fascinated by the physiology behind zombies and analyze them based on our understanding of biology.

Now, I'm not a biologist, but I do know some of the basics. Brother and I were discussing the mobility of zombies, and the lore that surrounds the possibilities of their speed. I informed him that on the podcast they mentioned muscle deterioration as a limitation on the speed of a zombie. Very legitimate point. Basically, upon reanimation, a zombie would have the same muscle mass and therefore capacity as it did at death, which would have implications on how quickly it could move. As the zombie continues its quest for brains, it would wear out the muscles and not be able to rebuild them. In the end, the slower zombies must be those that started with less muscle mass or those that have been zombies for longer. Brother brought up an equally valid point about how it would take some time for a zombie to relearn how to move. I suggested it might take a while, but muscle memory is a pretty powerful thing. That, and zombies are bipedal organisms so walking upright would be their natural instinct. The phrase "it's like riding a bike" was thrown about as one tends to do in these types of conversations, which led us to pose an even more interesting question. Could zombies ride bikes? How good would their muscle memory be?

If our zombie mobility theory is correct, you could use zombie power to your advantage. Brother had the brilliant idea of using a tandem bike to get around (presumably to get to your safe house). Have the zombie be in the back and it would continue to pedal in order to catch up to you and your delicious brain. To fully take advantage of this situation, you would need to be prepared. I suggested practicing this tandem bike riding, using a really drunk person as your zombie. I assume that zombies have the bicycle balance of a drunk person, so it makes sense. It really is a logical choice. So add that to your zombie survival kit, nerds. A tandem bike. Now go drink some beers and practice!

It's disgusting

I was going to write a post about nerds, their love of zombies, and if my love of zombies is what qualifies me as a nerd. But then I started flipping channels and ended up catching the first minute of Bride Wars. Now, normally, I wouldn't even consider leaving such filth on my television screen, but I recently waited on a guy who is in this movie, so I was slightly curious about his role (and that whole "OMG I waited on him!" aspect). The problem is that I probably won't even notice him in this because I'm not paying nearly enough attention, mostly because I'm too busy ranting about how horrible the premise is. Like, really, you're best friends and you're so self-absorbed that neither of you could budge?!

It kind of makes me not even want a wedding. I'm so not a girly girl in any way, shape, or form. And happy for it. Even more proof to this fact, the guys in the film (I don't feel like I can use the word "film" here, but I already typed it so I guess I have to go with it) are playing Halo, and all I could think is something along the lines of "why is she talking to them about wedding stuff and not saying 'I call next game'". I will never be a legitimate female. Also, if I ever turn into a bridezilla, someone please remind me of this post and every thing else I've ever said.

Okay. This movie is getting out of control. I think what upsets me even more than the absolute shallowness of the main characters is how every other female character in this movie is reacting to the wedding. Like, they tell all of their friends that they are both engaged, and one immediately starts eating ice cream and another shuffles through a medicine cabinet for pills. Let's first focus on the ice cream girl. Her freezer was stocked with a fuckton of ice cream. Just pints all over the place. If she were me, that would totally make sense because ice cream is awesome and should be eaten all of the time. However, you could totally tell that the intent of the ice cream was to be on hand for emotional eating. Hopefully she's not a bridesmaid because if she eats all of that "I'm so sad because all of my friends are getting married and not me" ice cream, she won't fit into the dress that has been picked out by her super skinny, crazy bride friend. I think I'm judging her more than the pills girl. My only real complaint about her is that she should know which pills are where and should have to toss them all around to find the good ones that will quell her inner sadness. At least we know she doesn't suffer from OCD. 

The previous paragraph was pretty harsh. I could be worse. I should be drunk for this. This is why I don't watch rom-coms. Everything about them blows. And you know what? This is probably why I love horror movies so much. Because the annoying bitches that would be the leads in a movie like this are usually the first to go.

Update: Pro to this movie, Paul Scheer as the fake dance instructor. 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It would allow every season to be a season of Sam

If I had a "How To" blog, I'd call it "OBEY MY BLOG!" and just have this in every post.

And completely unintentionally, this post is still related to movies! Two, in fact! But I think I might be the only one getting the reference in the title.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

There's a lot of pressure to be funny in a blog

Maybe that's not entirely true, but I feel like it is. Maybe it's because the blogs I read tend to be funny. And because I'm really self-conscious about my own writing and such.

This post could go under the category "Things that could have been tweeted". It also goes in the category "So I've had a few beers while sitting in the bar pretending to work".

Maybe I should go home and watch a movie. Oh hey! Another beer! Thanks, guy we're sharing our table with. Gotta love this bar.

I think I just swallowed an orange seed. Cuss you, beers that are delicious with citrus in them!

This has too many exclamation marks. I should just delete it and start over. Eh, decisions I can make at a later time when I decide how ridiculous I want to make this whole thing.

Friday, August 5, 2011


Many times when I think about metaphors, I think of the line from Fight Club where our trusty narrator states, "Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everyone." This line is taken almost word for word from the book (yes, I pulled the book off the bookshelf to double check) with the only difference being Joni Mitchell is the iconic woman replaced by Meryl for the film version. Regardless, it paints quite the picture of Chloe in her sad, accepting-death state. Except now I'm wondering why it was necessary to change the name in the first place. Was it a studio executive decision? Was it because Meryl Streep is a better known figure to the point where viewers would more easily conjure up an image of her as a reference point? This wasn't supposed to lead to so many questions, but there they are.

Note: Most of this post is the perfect example of why this blog is here. I would have tweeted something like this, but there is no way I could fully explain myself or the quote in 140 characters. I might try. Well, what do you know. I figured out a way to tweet it. Had room for a hashtag and everything. Couldn't put the whole quote in there, but I think I got the point across. Here is where I apologize to people who read both this and my Twitter.

13 Assassins

It's Friday night and I have the house to myself, so I decided I would pour a glass of wine and watch a movie. After spending about half an hour yelling at Netflix for having too many options (because it's definitely not my fault for not even knowing a genre of film that I would like to watch), I finally settled on a list of ten possible films to watch for the evening. I settled on 13 Assassins for a number of reasons that I won't necessarily get into here, now, or ever. This is probably around the time when I should mention that 13 Assassins is my first Japanese film, which is terrible given my overall love of movies and especially given my love of horror movies. Seeing as how this movie is Takashi Miike's most recent film, I started with this one (even though both Audition and Ichi the Killer are both also featured in my queue). Also a good place to note that if I get anything wrong about the plot or whatever, forgive me. I was drinking wine. And tweeting. And coming up with this great idea for a blog I should start.

Speaking of starting, best place to start might be my summary of the movie. About half an hour or so into the film, I stopped to ask myself what the movie was about. What I gathered was that it was like Lord of the Rings, but the fellowship had thirteen people instead of nine and their mission was to get a sword (the ring) into the evil Lord killing civilians (the fires of Mount Doom). I could also describe it as being like 300 because it was a small group of samurais fighting against a way larger group of the Lord's men, but I haven't seen 300 so I feel less likely to make this connection.

Here is where I insert my attempt at being all film-buffy. Cinematographically, the film was shot much like a Western. I should insert the caveat of not having seen every Western, only a handful (and probably not some of the most well known). You know, I'm totally having a moment where I feel like I haven't seen any where near enough movies to be writing a blog where I hope to focus on movies and make bold statements like, "it was shot like a Western". I'll get on that. And write about them! Or not. Maybe. At least I read a lot about film (and have a brain full of useless trivia to which many of my friends can attest). Anyway, back to what I was saying about Westerns. I had this brilliant thought and of course had to tweet about it. The world needed to know. Not even a minute later, I had a second thought along the Western track. It might have been the fleet of horses storming into the battlefield (probably not the right term for where the fighting was taking place, but it works) that reminded me of the period of the movie being the mid-1840s. Oh, that makes sense. Horses everywhere, lack of modern technology, samurais. It all makes sense now. Still, the framing of the faces and the editing style, especially in the scenes of expository dialogue, were very Westernesque.

My moment of "this needs definitely needs to be shared with the world" came about near the middle of the epic battle. Not really sure what was happening in addition to the fighting, but all of a sudden there was a flood of some sort of deep red liquid overflowing from the top of the housing structures. Logically, I wondered if it was blood or cranberry juice (and promptly tweeted such musing). What is really important here is that I didn't even consider for a second that it would be red wine! I mean, it wasn't any of those three and was most likely just a metaphor for massive amounts of bloodshed. Seriously, like a hundred people had died at this point.

And my last random comment was shared to a friend, and not to Twitter. I think part of my confusion about all that was going on was the similarity of the names. It's like a Russian novel where all of the 5,000 characters have very long and often similar sounding names to go along with their intricate relations to one another. I'm a visual person a diagram showing the names of the people, their role, and how they were connected to one another would have helped everyone know exactly what was going on. Might only help me, but that's a good place to start.

I don't know if I can fully comment on the film overall. Like, I don't think I could give it any sort of rating. I was too distracted and I haven't seen enough of Miike's work to compare it to anything else. Maybe after watching a few more selection from his filmography as well as other Japanese films will allow me to have some more insight. Maybe I should watch some more Westerns or something. Really, I just need to get back into watching more movies, something I miss and makes me truly happy. And with the added benefit of being able to randomly make notes and publish it as a legitimate blog post makes it that much better!

That might be the best conclusion I can come up with right now. I'll get better about this, I promise. Or maybe I shouldn't promise such a bold thing. I promise to try to get better at concluding my rambling blogposts.

Requisite first post that always sucks and is never anywhere near as creative and awesome as the blog it represents

Based on the blog name and the number of characters in the title of this post alone, I think it's safe to say that this whole blog outlet was a good decision. Basically, the idea for this came about one night while excessively tweeting. I might have been drinking wine. I might have been watching a movie. I might have been annoying the fuck out of all of my Twitter followers (maybe a good place to say that I am @krisleighcamp ). Or it might have all been hilarious and insightful. It depends on how much you care about my inner monologue whilst watching a movie that I'm not really paying attention to because I'm too busy drinking wine and/or tweeting. Not sure how successful a blog will be for me, seeing as how I have the attention span of a goldfish, but we'll see how it goes.

So maybe in the end this blog will be filled with my random ramblings that are spawned by my desire to express myself in more than 140 characters without having to do multiple tweets of one continuous thought (because I hate that). I might actually have a focus and a recurring feature, so to speak, of live blogging my thoughts as I watch a movie. You know, all of those things that creep into your mind while you're watching and would love to share. This works while watching a movie alone and even works for when you're watching with friends (because you shouldn't talk during a movie, unless previously agreed that it is okay by your movie-watching companion).

I should probably note that the movie posts might be a little spoilery,  I will try my best to not ruin any super key plot points, but it might happen. Maybe if I learn to do some fancy stuff with the blog, I can find some way to hide spoiler stuff without limiting the view of the whole post. Things to figure out another time. Not now. This post doesn't have any spoilers.

I really hope this blog stands up for what I hope and this original post isn't the best one. That would be embarrassing outright, but even more so because of that asinine title I made for it.